Since the prognosis in January I’ve had three very special visitors all come from New Zealand to spend time with me and say goodbye! Well ha!! I was the one who ended up putting them back on the plane at the end of their visits and saying goodbye.
Sticky dots!
It started with my baby sister in January. She got on the first plane they could give her the minute I was told, as if I was going to pop my clogs right there and then. I was still feeling weak and tired at that stage because the Chemotherapy had knocked the wind out of my sails and we were all pretty convinced that I was going to die. I was going through th
e ‘matter-of-fact’ mode treating my death like going on a holiday and blocking out all emotion because I did not want to be surrounded by depressed people and she helped me with that.
Year’s back we joked with each other and mum about who was going to get what of mum's possessions when she died. It sounds terrible but it was done in good humour. Anyway to solve the problem we joked about putting colour coded sticky dots on the items we wanted to claim and whatever didn’t have a dot could go to my brother. He doesn’t have the same sense of humour as us which made this even funnier. Years later this is something we still laugh about, especially when it comes to a very old blue covered cookbook Mum had when she was first married. So, the day after Sarah arrives there she was in my lounge with her sticky dots! We laughed like crazy about where she was going to put these sticky dots. However some of the places would require me to be an organ donor. For example, she’s blind as a bat and I have 20/20 vision so my eyeballs were top of her list and another dot had something to do with fissures, but that’s a whole other story and not something she would want discussed on my blog!
The whole two weeks she was here, we just blobbed about in our p.j's while I slowly got my strength back. We joked about music to play at my funeral and decided that the pall bearers should carry me down the aisle to the Black Eyed Peas, Boom Boom Boom and have a strut to their step. Just imagining that gave us all the giggles. Some people would cringe at our laughing fits but I think making the situation light-hearted helps it to be bearable.
Then came the goodbye. I’m renown for not crying but even I had a tear in my eye. No amount of humour can brighten up the situation of having to say goodbye to someone you love, knowing it’ll be the last time you see them.
The Lighthouse!
So then came my baby brother. He had never flown so we were all worried about where he was going to end up but he got here safely, buzzing with excitement about the flight and finally coming to England to see us. However, he’s a whole other kettle of fish and we’re like chalk and cheese. We couldn’t joke about death, funerals or anything like that with him because to him it’s not a laughing matter but strangely he brought me strength. Without a lie, within a couple of days of him arriving I had this feeling of being protected and could actually feel myself getting better. It was then that funeral arrangements and all the depressing planning surrounding my death stopped. For the first time I felt hope.
He also was only here for two weeks but my health began to improve rapidly. We even managed to get the train to London and do one of those sightseeing tours on an open-top bus. It was bloody freezing and even started snowing at one stage but it was such a good day and so great to spend time bonding with my baby bro. It took a good week to get over my big day out in London but it was so worth it. During that week at one of my healings, Kimberly told me I
was a ‘lighthouse’ to Robert. I shrugged it off and thought she just meant how he would look for me in crowds at London like a lost little boy, then one night Rob went out and got lost! I had given him a map and he had walked the route to town a couple of times but this particular night it snowed completely throwing him out of whack and unlike New Zealand all the houses look the same. He didn’t want to phone me because I wasn’t feeling well so he ended up calling mum who then ended up calling me anyway. It turned out he was lost literally at the bottom of my road so I traipsed out in my bright pink dressing gown and ugg boots and stood at the entrance to my cul-de-sac. There he was, wet through and blue! It’s a wonder he hadn’t frozen to death walking round in circles in the freezing cold and snow. He looked up and saw me standing there with a street light behind me and said I looked like a ‘lighthouse’...Spooky aye!
Saying goodbye to Rob was easier. I had begun to feel more positive about my outcome at that stage and his two weeks were more like a tourist holiday for him as well which took the doom and gloom out of it.
Laugh till it hurts!
Finally came my bestest lil’ buddy Karen. I knew this was going to be a scream even before she turned up because she and I laugh at anything. We’ve been best friends for 22 years and some of my funniest memories have been with her.
Years ago when we were younger we dared each other that whoever died first, thinking in our 90’s, the other would have to wear a bright green hat to the funeral. So when I first found out the cancer had spread I told her to go get a hat! She then became seriously ill herself and told me to get one. Luckily there isn’t an actual green hat because the air miles it would’ve clocked up over the last 18 months going between New Zealand and England would have left it in tatters. Fortunately she is now on the mend, I'm feeling more positive about my outcome so the hat can go back in it's box until we're in our 90's.
Karen was here for the whole 'May' thing. When she booked her ticket i think it was with the intention of being here when i died so she could help Mum and Joe. Well...that plan backfired ha ha because I'm still here, so we spent three months laughing and shopping instead. Karen has become New Zealands very own walking, talking Jane Norman mannequin. Because both our bodies were recuperating from our various illnesses, there was no pubbing and clubbing till the small hours in the morning but we still managed to laugh the whole time she was here and that's what she brings me...ridiculous laughter till my sides hurt.
This photo was taken in some random farmers rape seed field. We'd seen it on our way to bingo and decided it would make a great photo if we were wearing her Dad's pub t-shirts. There was no gate at the entrance so it wasn't really like trespassing but we had our wits about us anyway and wanted to take the picture as quick as we could. Another plan that backfired! The bloody camera kept sliding of the bonnet of the car, fell from the branch of a tree and generally was not working with us so we came up with the brilliant idea of holding it. In the midst of all this i could hear shotguns in the background that seemed to be getting closer and Karen thought there might be snakes in the field so we got the nervous giggles and we couldn't get the timing right. 5-4-3-2-1 flash! After six attempts, this is it.
Sticky dots!
It started with my baby sister in January. She got on the first plane they could give her the minute I was told, as if I was going to pop my clogs right there and then. I was still feeling weak and tired at that stage because the Chemotherapy had knocked the wind out of my sails and we were all pretty convinced that I was going to die. I was going through th
e ‘matter-of-fact’ mode treating my death like going on a holiday and blocking out all emotion because I did not want to be surrounded by depressed people and she helped me with that.Year’s back we joked with each other and mum about who was going to get what of mum's possessions when she died. It sounds terrible but it was done in good humour. Anyway to solve the problem we joked about putting colour coded sticky dots on the items we wanted to claim and whatever didn’t have a dot could go to my brother. He doesn’t have the same sense of humour as us which made this even funnier. Years later this is something we still laugh about, especially when it comes to a very old blue covered cookbook Mum had when she was first married. So, the day after Sarah arrives there she was in my lounge with her sticky dots! We laughed like crazy about where she was going to put these sticky dots. However some of the places would require me to be an organ donor. For example, she’s blind as a bat and I have 20/20 vision so my eyeballs were top of her list and another dot had something to do with fissures, but that’s a whole other story and not something she would want discussed on my blog!
The whole two weeks she was here, we just blobbed about in our p.j's while I slowly got my strength back. We joked about music to play at my funeral and decided that the pall bearers should carry me down the aisle to the Black Eyed Peas, Boom Boom Boom and have a strut to their step. Just imagining that gave us all the giggles. Some people would cringe at our laughing fits but I think making the situation light-hearted helps it to be bearable.
Then came the goodbye. I’m renown for not crying but even I had a tear in my eye. No amount of humour can brighten up the situation of having to say goodbye to someone you love, knowing it’ll be the last time you see them.
The Lighthouse!
So then came my baby brother. He had never flown so we were all worried about where he was going to end up but he got here safely, buzzing with excitement about the flight and finally coming to England to see us. However, he’s a whole other kettle of fish and we’re like chalk and cheese. We couldn’t joke about death, funerals or anything like that with him because to him it’s not a laughing matter but strangely he brought me strength. Without a lie, within a couple of days of him arriving I had this feeling of being protected and could actually feel myself getting better. It was then that funeral arrangements and all the depressing planning surrounding my death stopped. For the first time I felt hope.
He also was only here for two weeks but my health began to improve rapidly. We even managed to get the train to London and do one of those sightseeing tours on an open-top bus. It was bloody freezing and even started snowing at one stage but it was such a good day and so great to spend time bonding with my baby bro. It took a good week to get over my big day out in London but it was so worth it. During that week at one of my healings, Kimberly told me I
was a ‘lighthouse’ to Robert. I shrugged it off and thought she just meant how he would look for me in crowds at London like a lost little boy, then one night Rob went out and got lost! I had given him a map and he had walked the route to town a couple of times but this particular night it snowed completely throwing him out of whack and unlike New Zealand all the houses look the same. He didn’t want to phone me because I wasn’t feeling well so he ended up calling mum who then ended up calling me anyway. It turned out he was lost literally at the bottom of my road so I traipsed out in my bright pink dressing gown and ugg boots and stood at the entrance to my cul-de-sac. There he was, wet through and blue! It’s a wonder he hadn’t frozen to death walking round in circles in the freezing cold and snow. He looked up and saw me standing there with a street light behind me and said I looked like a ‘lighthouse’...Spooky aye!Saying goodbye to Rob was easier. I had begun to feel more positive about my outcome at that stage and his two weeks were more like a tourist holiday for him as well which took the doom and gloom out of it.
Laugh till it hurts!
Finally came my bestest lil’ buddy Karen. I knew this was going to be a scream even before she turned up because she and I laugh at anything. We’ve been best friends for 22 years and some of my funniest memories have been with her.
Years ago when we were younger we dared each other that whoever died first, thinking in our 90’s, the other would have to wear a bright green hat to the funeral. So when I first found out the cancer had spread I told her to go get a hat! She then became seriously ill herself and told me to get one. Luckily there isn’t an actual green hat because the air miles it would’ve clocked up over the last 18 months going between New Zealand and England would have left it in tatters. Fortunately she is now on the mend, I'm feeling more positive about my outcome so the hat can go back in it's box until we're in our 90's.
Karen was here for the whole 'May' thing. When she booked her ticket i think it was with the intention of being here when i died so she could help Mum and Joe. Well...that plan backfired ha ha because I'm still here, so we spent three months laughing and shopping instead. Karen has become New Zealands very own walking, talking Jane Norman mannequin. Because both our bodies were recuperating from our various illnesses, there was no pubbing and clubbing till the small hours in the morning but we still managed to laugh the whole time she was here and that's what she brings me...ridiculous laughter till my sides hurt.
This photo was taken in some random farmers rape seed field. We'd seen it on our way to bingo and decided it would make a great photo if we were wearing her Dad's pub t-shirts. There was no gate at the entrance so it wasn't really like trespassing but we had our wits about us anyway and wanted to take the picture as quick as we could. Another plan that backfired! The bloody camera kept sliding of the bonnet of the car, fell from the branch of a tree and generally was not working with us so we came up with the brilliant idea of holding it. In the midst of all this i could hear shotguns in the background that seemed to be getting closer and Karen thought there might be snakes in the field so we got the nervous giggles and we couldn't get the timing right. 5-4-3-2-1 flash! After six attempts, this is it.Without travel insurance my bucket list was halved so while Karen was here we did all the other stuff. Racing car driving...BBC Radio 1 Big Weekend...Ladies Day at Ascot...Hot air balloon ride...Bingo...we even had our tea leaves read!...you name it, we did it and before we knew it her three months were up and it was yet again time to say goodbye to someone. But this wasn't a goodbye, this was a "see you later"
Karen returned to New Zealand and put the wine on ice ready for my return. So fingers crossed, angels on my side, I'll get this terminal tag lifted soon, be able to get travel insurance, win the lotto and go and stay with my bestest lil' buddy.
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