 |
| the boob sticking out my back |
Back in May i was offered surgery or radiotherapy to get rid of it but because i was feeling so well and it wasn't giving me any trouble at all Dr Alice and i decided it was best left alone. Hopefully it would disappear on it's own like the others. Well that was May! It's four inches in diameter and sitting right under my shoulder blade and although it hasn't grown since May it seems harder and is waking me up at night time. It's like sleeping on a fist. So i decided that before i get too run down through broken sleep and it gets to the stage i look like Quasimodo I'd get it seen to.
I decided against surgery because although my surgeon Dr Andy does a fantastic job, I'm not a great fan of the Oxford hospitals and feel safer with Dr Alice and the Royal Berks. I've also become a big baby with a low pain threshold and since being in so much pain for such a long time and now not being in any, it made me want to cry just thinking about the pain from surgery. So i opted to have my extra boob zapped! Radiotherapy itself is pain free and just like having a long x-ray. It takes longer to get into the exact position each time than it does for the treatment itself.
So I rang my oncology nurse Charlotte and I was up at Reading seeing Dr Alice's registrar on the Wednesday and having my Radiotherapy Planning visit by the following Monday. Now that's what i call service.
 |
| red mark after week 2 |
Instead of everyday for six weeks like last time, this course was twice a week for three weeks. Easy peesy! Also, instead of going all the way through the body, this time they would zap only the lump itself. Last time was amazing and i wish i had taken photos. You know when you cover yourself with sunscreen and miss a bit and that goes bright red? Well, radiotherapy is like that. With the six week course i had a large red rectangle going down my groin onto my thigh and when i turned round i noticed another one on my butt going down the back of my thigh. It didn't start to appear until the third week or so and I had been told the radiation went all the way through my body but i didn't quite realise it until i saw that. So it meant everything in the middle got fried too including my left ovary. Fortunately i haven't grown a moustache or got a deep voice so my girlie hormones must be still pumping. I was so worried about looking like a Russian gymnast or going through early menopause.
Although Radiotherapy is painless the affects tend to sneak up on you. With the six week course i was still in pain from surgery, my leg was like a tree trunk and i was fair crapping myself at the thought of having radiotherapy. I remember laying there on the table trying to keep so still, listening to the buzzing of the machine and this alarm-like beeping sound. My heart was pounding because i was waiting for it to happen. I don't know what i thought it was but it never happened. Literally one minute later the girls were back, i was off the bed and that was that. What a relief. It was like a long x-ray. The next day i was a lot calmer and counted...1 Mississippi...2 Mississippi...34! That was it! 34 seconds! By the time it got to week two i thought, this is a 'peace of piss' (excuse my weird phrases), then week three it hit me! The medical team warn you you may get tired but it's not an 'i need a sleep in' tired, it's an 'i can't take another step' tired. I have know idea how Jade Goody did Christmas panto alongside her radiotherapy, but i take my hat off to her. I was also fortunate enough to only get a couple of burns on the skin about 2-3 inches long. I had been plastering Aloe Vera Gel on the radiated area but the skin goes thin and my knickers had rubbed and broken the skin. I should have just done a Britney and gone commando but it's not a pretty site. After the six week course i carried on cooking for another six to eight weeks and then started feeling stronger again. |
| Me and my Daisy |
This time, however, my 1 Mississippi...2 Mississippi...got to 90! Aparently the radiotherapy is slightly different this time but it still didn't hurt. The only real difference is the red mark appeared after the first session and the tired washed out feeling got me at the end of week two. By the end of the third week i was really lagging and i could feel my body getting run down. I lost my voice, my hair and skin got greasy, i struggled to walk 100 meters and i got awful night sweats. The pets start acting weird as well. Daisy, my dog, won't leave my side and sleeps up by my head and the cats sleep on top of me too! It's so uncanny how sensitive animals are.
The day of the last session i was getting concerned because the lump wasn't shrinking. It wasn't waking me up at night anymore but it just didn't feel like it was shrinking. The nurse said i had another two weeks of cooking and because of tissue swelling i probably wouldn't notice a difference untill a months time when i went for my follow-up appointment. As for the washed out feeling, i would peak in 10 days and start feeling better. So counting today, i've got five more days till i peak and although i feel rough i know the radiotherapy is the reason and i'll soon be back on my feet again. As for my extra boob, i'd say we've shrunk from a B cup to an A so the zapping appears to be working. The most annoying of all though is today i've had to take pain relief! I've done so well for the past 3 months but the discomfort around my shrinking lump isn't worth suffering in silence for.
No comments:
Post a Comment